____________________________

Never Drive With Your Wife
____________________________
A police officer pulls over a speeding car . The officer says , " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour , sir. "
..
The driver says , " Gee , officer I had it on cruise control at 60 , perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating . "
..
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says : " Now don't be silly dear , you know that this car doesn't have cruise control . "
..
As the officer writes out the ticket , the driver looks over at his wife and growls , " Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once ? "
..
The wife smiles demurely and says , " You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did . "
..
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit , the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth , " Dammit , woman , can't you keep your mouth shut?"
..
The officer frowns and says , " And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt , sir . That's an automatic $75 fine . "
..
The driver says , " Yeah , well , you see officer , I had it on , but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket . "
..
The wife says , " Now , dear , you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on . You never wear your seat belt when you're driving . "
..
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks , "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP ? ? "
..
The officer looks over at the woman and asks , " Does your husband always talk to you this way , Ma'am ?"
..
" Only when he's been drinking . "