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Just Some Jokes

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Sun Exploration

Four delegates from China, Russia, the United States and Malaysia attended the United Nations' Meeting. All the nations were discussing about space exploration by the year 2000. Here are some of the conversations:

China Delegate: 'By the year 2000, China will start their moon exploration project. '

Russian Delegate: ' We too, we are going to explore the moon. This time we will see to it that our cosmonauts will step on the moon.'

Bill Clinton: ' We the United States will also explore the moon for second time.'

Malaysian Delegate: 'By the year 2000, Malaysia will explore the sun.'

There was a long silence, Bill Clinton stood up and asked the Malaysia Delegate: ' Isn't it too hot to explore the sun?'

Malaysian Delegate (smiling): 'I had this thought out already. We will do it in the evening.'

A Pinoy, a Bangladeshi and a Sinki Chinese are in a bar one night having a beer. The Pinoy finishes his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.

He brags, "In Philipines our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."

The Bangladeshi is obviously impressed. When he finished his beer, he throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.

He says, "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

The Sinki, cool as a cucumber, finishes his drink, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Pinoy & the Bangladeshi.

He says "Tiu Nia Ma CCB !! In Sinkiland we have so many Pinoys and Banglas that we don't need to drink with the same one twice !!"

A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids. He went to a shop and found a nice looking CD player. Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, "What would happen if this does not work?"

The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, "GUARANTEE NO SPOILT".

Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and returns to his hotel. He tried to use the CD player after returning to the hotel, but it would not even switch on.

He quickly return to the shop and ask for a refund or an exchange for another unit. When the shopkeeper refuses to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of a guarantee.

The shopkeeper then said, "Brother, you are in China. We read from the right to the left."

(Chinese characters are read from right to left)

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.

The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5, 000.


The Chinese replies:

'Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there safely when I return.'